One of THOSE days...cringe

I'm not sure why, but yesterday was one of those days... one of those days when you look in the mirror and cringe.  I'm almost certain we have all had those days before and they don't do much for the good ol' self esteem. 
I looked fat and felt bloated.
I looked ugly.
My hair was extra flat (my hair is normally flat but it just looked even worse in my eyes yesterday).
My skin is breaking out like a 12 year old boy going through puberty. I mean WTF, I'm almost 27, this should NOT be happening anymore.
I am starting to get wrinkles and fine lines...sigh. I'm starting to look older.
I avoided all mirrors in the house for as long as physically possible.

I know it's not just me that has days like that.  Sadly, some people always see themselves in a negative light, like I did yesterday.  As I've gotten older and gotten through some awkward chub stages, I've started to see myself in a much more positive light, so days like this have become few and far between, but they do still hit pretty hard.  On days like this, you see every flaw in your appearance and think you're just the most putrid thing around. You compare yourself to every girl you see and jealously admire their beautiful curly full hair, their porcelain skin with zero proof of acne, their toned legs, their big boobs, their flat stomachs, truly the list could go on and on.  Jealousy.  What an evil feeling.  It's enough to make a girl not want to leave her house. Honestly, I've had days where I felt so badly about myself that I miserably stayed in and cancelled plans. Isn't that sad?  Isn't it sad that people have to go through days like this and feel so terrible about how they look? Talk to any girl you know, these days happen all too frequently.  I could go into a whole tangent about society and women and feeling beautiful and eating disorders and photoshop and modeling and skewed body images, but that's for another day.

I know that I'm not a putrid person, and I even have many days now when I can look in the mirror and say, hey... not too shabby.  I can look past the cellulite, the occasional zit, the dark circles, the flat hair, and say you're pretty.  10 years ago, I don't think I could have said the same.  Perhaps it's because I'm finally maturing and accepting my flaws, or maybe it's because I've become a stronger more independent person.  I'm working towards goals with becoming a healthier, physically stronger person.  Finishing a long run and feeling like I can conquer the world.  It's one of the best feelings I've had in my lifetime.  

So 10 years ago I might have cancelled my plans for last night and stayed home eating crappy food and moping, but it's different now. I went to the gym and put in my mileage for the day. I put on an outfit that hid my food belly stomach, attempted to fluff my hair and add some volume, applied plenty of concealer and I went out with friends and the bf.  And you know, I had a really great time.  I actually came home feeling better about myself because I surrounded myself with positive, happy people who love me for me ::insert warm fuzzies:: 

I've become better at seeing the positive. The cellulite and the fat are just motivation to push myself harder.  Although, I've read somewhere that cellulite can actually be genetic (is this true? anyone know?).  Even skinny people get it, so I might have it the rest of my life, but my goal is to have much, much less of it.  I will push myself to be leaner and stronger.  I'll buy better concealer to hide my blemishes and be more strict about always washing my face before bed.  It's like flossing, such a pain, but necessary. I'll accept that my hair is flat and very straight, but it's also very shiny, and I have to be happy for that.  I'm never going to be a skinny girl, and to be honest, I don't want to be.  I just want to be the healthiest, happiest, strongest version of me and I'm working towards that goal ever day, even on fat days.