A Revision to a Goal

So I've come to the point where I've attained the goal weight I originally set out to reach back when I first started dieting 9 months ago.  I set that goal originally thinking it would be a stretch to ever reach it, thinking that I would look pretty darn good if I did reach it.
Now that I'm here, I'm not satisfied with the outcome. I don't look like what I thought I would look like at this weight, and to be honest, it's sort of depressing.  I guess it should be a motivation to just keep going, because I'm no where near where I want to be when it comes to my physique.
I'm down 24 pounds and it's still not enough.
Have things improved? Well, of course they have.  My clothing fits better and I've definitely come a long way in my abilities as a runner.
I still look in the mirror and I'm not satisfied with what I see.  
Most people do not notice the weight loss, or if they do they don't say anything to me.
To be perfectly honest, I don't really notice that much change.
It's comical to me now; I seriously thought 24 pounds would be enough when I was so overweight?  Why did I think that would enough? lolz.
So now comes the hard part, setting a new weight loss goal.  I'm thinking it's going to be harder now because I've been hovering around this same weight for the last few weeks.  I don't know if 12 pounds will even make a difference in my appearance, but I think that's the most reasonable goal I can set right now.  I'd like to lose those 12 pounds by July 8th.  I leave for the beach on July 8th.  That's more than enough time...but it's not going to be an easy task for the over-eater that I am.
I'd like this to be the year that I'm comfortable enough to wear a bikini on the beach.  I've never worn one, never in my 27 years of existence.
Could 2012 be the year of the bikini?  Guess we'll just have to wait and see. 

Mad at the World

I woke up this morning and I was angry...mad at the world.
Why?
Death. So many people are taken from this world too young. Too early. They haven't even had a chance to live yet and their life is taken away.
I found out on Thursday that a high school friend of my brothers passed away in a house fire. He and his dog passed away in the fire caused by an overloaded outlet strip.  He was 28...28 years old.  I didn't know John very well, I had been to a few gatherings that he also attended and I knew he had a great sense of humor, always making people laugh. So many people spoke so highly of him on the online obituary.  He was caring, loyal, selfless and devoted.  I did know his sister and his dad was my softball coach one summer.  I can't imagine the pain and suffering they all must be going through with such a terrible, unexpected tragedy.  All I have to do is think about how lost I would be if one of my brothers passed away... I wouldn't even be able to function.  My heart just breaks for their family and friends.
I also found out on Saturday that the fiance of a girl I went to high school with passed away from cancer.  I do not know many of the details, as I was never really friends with this girl, but just the thought of what she might be going through at this time breaks my heart.  To lose the person you love and want to spend the rest of your life with at such a young age...how can your heart not break for someone experiencing that sort of tragedy?
Omar lost a young friend this summer to a car accident.
I have 4 co-workers who have lost their sons, 3 under the age of 30 and 1 in his 40s.
Shay lost her dad to a heart attack suddenly in 2009.
A co-worker lost her nephew suddenly right after he was born.
Another co-worker miscarried her first child.
And this list could go on and on.  Everyone has their stories.  Tragedies like this happen all too frequently in this world.  It truly makes you wonder how a higher being could let these things happen to good people.  I've always been the type of person to try to see the good that comes from situations.  My motto is that everything happens for a reason.  Well why does death happen to babies? What about small children?  How about young, good-hearted people? The more bad that happens in the world, the more suffering and heartbreak I see people experience, the harder it is for me to have a faith of any kind.
I was born and raised Catholic, and not the casual Catholic that only goes to church on Christmas and Easter.  Nope, we were forced to attend church every Sunday, every holy day, no excuses.  It didn't matter if you were sick or you were working a 12 hour shift that day and had midterms to study for, you were going to get up early and go to church.  It was shoved down our throats and we had no options.  That's just how it was.  As I've gotten older, I've separated myself further and further from religion.  It's sad to say, but it's true.
I always enjoyed having a faith and a belief.  I felt like having those values instilled in me at a young age really helped shape me into the person I am.  BUT, I don't really think it had to be handled the way that it was, and I think my parents even realize that now.  They, the strict Catholics, do not even go to church anymore.  Not even on holidays.  It's mind blowing.
I think people get to the point where they question faith and organized religion. I'm not against religion, in fact I often have days where I wish I could still be a part of an organized religion of some sort, but I'm just not ready to accept any of them, yet.  And the series of events that have recently played out, not only with death but just in life in general, truly makes me question faith. 

Slacker...

I've really been slacking in the blogging department lately. I haven't had any ideas for posts and I've been to lazy to do research. Shame on me. I'll be back soon...maybe.

Feeling Good

AVERAGE PACE 9:07!

A Change

There has been a change in my running mentality.
I'm not sure why, how or even when it occurred, but things have changed.
I used to dread every run.
Every.single.run.
I used to attempt to talk myself out of running, trying to find any and every excuse to not hit the pavement.
I used to go into each run wondering if I'd even be able to finish the required mileage for the day without walking.
I doubted myself on every run.
Each time I stopped running to walk, I would get mad at myself because I knew I was physically and mentally stronger than I was acting. 
I was disappointed in myself.
Recently, things have been different.
I still often try to talk myself out of runs, but I rarely skip them anymore.
I've learned to just suck it up and go.
I actually think I'm starting to enjoy running (Wait, what?!)
I've gone from wondering if I would make my mileage for the day without walking, to wondering "how long it will it take me to finish this run", and even sometimes "I wonder how fast I can run this one"
There is no doubt in my mind that I will finish each run without walking; the thought of walking is no longer an option.
If I have to do 7 miles, I'm running 7 miles without walking, no matter how long it takes me.
If I'm having a bad day, then I'm running it slower, but I'm going to run the whole thing. 
I'm learning to push myself past my comfort level.
I've changed from "I wonder if I can do this" to "I'm going to do this, no excuses"
I have no idea what has caused this change in my thought process, but I couldn't be happier that it has happened.
I only hope that this recent mentality sticks and I'll do everything I can to keep it as my long run distance increases (DEAR GOD PLEASE LET ME KEEP THIS MENTALITY!)
Half marathon, I'm coming for you...I ain't scurrrrred no mo! 

If I can do this fronds, YOU CAN DO THIS. Just get out there and push yourself.  You'll be shocked at your own strength.  

Weekend Update

Friday

with Omar I went to

ate this

 

 watched this  (excellent movie, btw, and filmed in Pittsburgh!)

Saturday 

Ran a 5 mile race with these 2 fronds (we all did fantastic!)

 

 ran in the cold and a little bit of snow and got this time (unofficially)

 

then recovered by eating here (aka consumed way more calories than burned off)

 Then hung out with this crazy brother and his 2 sons

and this funny, stinky mutt

 

Then met up with Omar and watched this (we went to see the musical on Wednesday and wanted to compare... enjoyable)

Sunday 

Saw this because we were too lazy and it was too freezing cold to go out Saturday night

 

 mmmm Ryan Reynolds ... often shirtless.... enough said.....

then I went to play some of this

Monday 

CLOSED ON MY HOUSE!!! AHHH 30 year mortgage! Ahhh responsiblity! AHHHH!!!

 

Received these from Omar for Valentines Day at work...turned red and cried like a huge sap (when did that happen?)

I guess you could say I had a fantastic weekend....so good I can't really put it all into words....

Happy Valentines Day!  Remember to tell the ones you love just how much you care about them and what they mean to you. Valentines Day might be a Hallmark Holiday, but everyone could use a lil reminder to openly appreciate the people in your life.  Life is too short to keep that stuff to yourself.
And my final note, something from one of my favorites

I promise you not a moment will be lost as long as I have heart & voice to speak & we will walk again together with a thousand others & a thousand more & on & on until there is no one among us who does not know the truth: there is no future without love. 

Check out the Story People website here.  So much good stuff, you've got to check it out yourself!

Valentines Day Run

Well tomorrow is a big day for Sarah, Shay and myself.  A big day because it is one year since our first 5k together.  One year since the dreaded Cupid Shuffle in North Park.  I can easily say that my first 5k was the worst 5k I've ever done.   Actually, after that race last year I'm not sure why I ever kept running.  I don't want to go too much into this because I am still trying to get Sarah to finish her guest blog entry about it, but it was extremely ugly.  Snow pelting your face, low 20 degree weather, hard to breathe, hilly, terrible and conveniently, also the day that my IT band injury decided to surface. Here is an absolutely terrible and embarrassing photo from the race last year.... and you're welcome.

This picture actually makes me a little sick to my stomach.  No wonder the kid I was dating at the time told me I looked like I was gaining weight.  I was plump plump plump here.  GROSS.  Yay for being 22 lbs lighter now.  

So tomorrow is the Valentines Day race. Last year's race was very small, but this year it has expanded into a 5k race or a 5 mile race.  All three of us are doing the 5 mile race, Kim isn't racing this year, even though she annihilated the race last year.  We'll miss you Kimmy!

I like doing races that support charities.  I like knowing I'm giving my money and torturing myself for a good cause; it's better doing it for someone else, than just for me.  It's only a small donation but I like to think that every bit helps. Here is a link to the race/donation page.

People Like You Make A Difference!

RUN FOR A REASON!
Valentine's Day 5k & 5 Miler!

Every mile "Makes A Difference"... Every step you take brings us one step closer in our mission to finding a cure!

A Pittsburgh Organization raising money for Glut1 DS & Glucose Transporter research which impacts other diseases such as epilepsy, diabetes and cancers! 100% of ALL donations you raise will directly fund research studies, education and awareness projects.

RSG1 is comprised of an elite group of esteemed medical, legal and business professionals who have dedicated their time, expertise, and energies toward creating a network of support and hope. All of our board members, associates and affiliates volunteer 100% of their time and energies to our mission! RSG1 has no paid staff or employees! We need your support too!

Remi Savioz Glut1 Foundation (RSG1) Event Start Time:10:00am
Raise money for medical research, education and
create awareness for Glut 1 Deficiency Syndrome & Glucose Transporters that affect a wide range of diseases such as cancers, epilepsy and diabetes. Help us to create funding for more effective treatment options and better patient care!
Together we can save lives and "Make A Difference!"
A portion of our event proceeds will also benefit the RSG1 Brain Fund at Children's Hospital of Pittsburgh!

I've never run a race longer than a 5k, so this will be a new experience for me.  I'm looking forward to a new challenge and seeing how I fare this year against the hills and the weather.  Unfortunately for us, it looks like the weather is going to be similar to last year, snowy and cold!  Shay and I are still dreading this race a little bit, mainly because of the weather.  Sarah, who has become so dedicated to her training for the full marathon in May that I don't even recognize her sometimes, is full of positive thoughts and a positive attitude.  She keeps saying to us, why are you guys dreading this?  Look how far we have come!  This is a true test of how much we have advanced as runners.  And you know, she is so right.

Yes, I know that we can't possibly expect the weather to actually behave for us on race day, as it has been lately around here (who signs up for 5 mile races in February in Pittsburgh!?!? SMH). Yes, 40 degree, sunny weather would make this race far more enjoyable, but ya know, what doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger, right?  Tomorrow will be just like any other long training run.  My fronds and I will step out into the weather, suck it up and kill the race.  We might not be the fastest runners on the course, but we are definitely dedicated and determined to push ourselves.  It's going to be a great feeling crossing the finish line and being able to say we did this race in freezing temperatures with snow pelting our faces. 

Positive thoughts only fronds!

I spent $100 at GNC

Ya I know, 100 bucks at GNC is a lot...but I was stocking up on some goodies and stuff to make these delightful treats.  

No Bake Peanut Butter Protein Bars

I found the recipe on Pinterest (of course).  I've been looking for some ways to add more protein to my diet without adding more cheese/milk products.  I love having grab and go healthy items handy so that I don't snack on junk.  I figure these treats would be perfect for my lingering sweet tooth and still pack a healthy dose of protein, fiber and omega-3.  Here is the ingredient list:

2 c. of peanut butter
1 1/2 -3/4 c. of honey
2 c. of protein powder
1 c. of oats
1/4 cup of chia seeds  

The bars were easy enough to make and tasted good as well.  I think next time I will add a little more oats and less honey.  The bars were a little sweet to my taste, but the consistency of the bars was awesome.  They turned out exactly like Blonde Ponytail stated, and the fudge like texture was perfect. I am definitely also going to try them with the chocolate protein powder.  You can't go wrong with chocolate and peanut butter, right?  My dad also gave them the thumbs up, so that's a good sign.

I also purchased GNC Women's Ultra Mega Active Vitapak. 

WOMEN’S ULTRA MEGA® ACTIVE

GNC Women’s Ultra Mega® Active Vitapak® Program conveniently combines nutrients that support a woman's overall nutritional needs with focused ingredients to promote optimal health, joint cushioning and athletic performance.*

• Women’s Ultra Mega® Active without Iron – Our premium timed-release, clinically studied formula includes vitamins and minerals to supplement key nutrients that may be missing in your daily diet. Women’s Ultra Mega® Active contains 1,600 IU of vitamin D-3 for breast and bone health and immune support, as well as, B-vitamins that are important for carbohydrate metabolism and energy production.* It's enhanced with 500 mg of bone strengthening calcium and joint cushioning blend with vitamin C, collagen and hyaluronic acid. It also combines a broad spectrum of cell-protecting antioxidant nutrients that also support immune health with key electrolytes that help regulate body fluids.*
• Energy Enhancer – This clinically proven thermogenic formula helps to enhance your metabolism and improve your ability to burn more calories.* Includes a powerful combination of ingredients designed to help give you the extra boost of energy you need in your busy day.
• Conjugated Linoleic Acid (CLA) – A naturally occurring fatty acid derived from safflower seeds. Clinically studied CLA to enhance your diet and is a healthy source of natural energy.
• L-Carnitine – An amino acid, L-carnitine helps to facilitate the metabolism of long chain fatty acids.* L carnitine is stored in skeletal muscles where it is needed to transform fatty acids into energy for muscle activity.*
• Calcium 600 – This bone supporting caplet combines 600 mg of bone building calcium and 400 IU of vitamin D-3 to enhance calcium absorption

I've noticed that although I am exercising more and eating much healthier than before (I know I don't eat completely healthy but I'm getting better) I still don't seem to have much energy.  I am often still tired when I wake up in the morning after a good night's sleep.  I figured, why not try these out and see how I feel after a month.  So far I haven't noticed any ill effects; sometimes multivitamins can take a toll on my stomach.  I always take the vitamins with food and plenty of water.  They don't have the best taste in the world, but it's a small price to pay if they actually work.  I guess I'll report back in a month and see if I notice a change in my energy levels and such. 
Lastly I purchased the GNC Total Lean Shake- 25 in Rich Chocolate and the GNC Total Lean Shake in Vanilla Bean
They were buy one, get one half off so that's why I purchased two.  I know that it's important to get at least 10 grams of protein into your body after exercising to help repair muscles.  I am not usually hungry after I run, so I figured I could use these shakes as a recovery drink.  I can mix the shake before I go, throw it in the fridge, then when I return from my run add ice and give it a good shakey shake and enjoy.  I made the chocolate yesterday and it was actually pretty good. So here goes nothing!

Oh and if you're wondering about the NYC Trip and want a re-cap, visit Omar's blog here The Places Fade Away but not the Memory

Someone is Mad at Me...

Rolo always hates it when the suitcase comes out...he knows I'm going to be leaving him for a period of time. Back in college, when I had an internship that required me to travel two weekends a month, he wouldn't come near me when I got the suitcase out. I swear he held a grudge against me when I went to Europe for a little over two weeks in 2007. I know this lil guy will be happy as a clam at the lake with my parents. He will have a field to run around in off leash, plenty of new scents to smell and lots of spoiling from my parents. I sure do love this lil pup!

Tired Legs, but it's Friday!

OOOKAY so it's technically Thursday, but it's MY Friday.  I'm off tomorrow, happy to be heading away for the weekend with Omar for our first roadtrip.  Concrete jungle, here we come. Very excited! Pictures are from my last NYC trip with Jill in Fall 2010.

I've had to switch my running schedule up drastically this week so that I could my 3 runs in before NYC.  I knew I wouldn't be running when I was there.  Instead of running Wednesday, Friday, Sunday this week, I was forced to run Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday.
I did 4 miles Tuesday

It's in black and white because I'm all sorts of artsy and sh*t.  Okay, in reality I accidentally hit the effects button before I took the picture and I was WAY too lazy to take another.
Wednesday I did 6.5 miles

and today I have to do another 4 miles... oye.
EDIT--Here was my 4 miler from this afternoon

MY LEGS ARE TIRED and I really need to get new shoes...like soon, soon.


The more I think about this the more I realize that this was probably a terrible decision.  My poor tired, sore, out of shape legs will be forced to sit on a bus for 7 hours tomorrow, and then spend the weekend walking around a huge city. Between my legs and Omar's looming sickness (a cold), we might be two cranky kids in the big city.  JUST kidding.  I'm sure these will both be non-issues because it is NYC fronds!!!